I’m Still Learning

Somewhere in the fall, I lost the map to the personal universe behind my green grey eyes.

My head is spinning as I try to comprehend which habits are mine and which I created to please you.

The spinning changes course as I try to remember the pieces of me I deleted for you, giving me whiplash.

I don’t remember the chorus of my thoughts and the bassline of my heartbeat the same way I had memorized yours.

I’m trying to fill in the empty spaces where you used to be.

I am trying to understand I am complete without you.

I am still learning how to love myself.

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