Heartbeat

You are still wrapped up in my blankets in a “cocoon”

sitting on my floor with your back against my closet door.

I am leaning on you

head in your lap

cushioned by several layers of my duvet and grey throw.

I hear-

no.

I feel your heartbeat against my head

gently through your band tee.

It’s rhythm isn’t quite in sync with the song playing from my Spotify

The alternative rhythm isn’t fast but it isn’t slow

calming

steady

constant

comforting.

I close my eyes and nudge my face closer to your chest.

You smell the way a candle named “Home” would

It’s a smell I can never describe when I am with you and can never grasp when I am not

It’s a smell I could recognize anywhere

and it’s one that slows my heart to beat in time with yours.

I don’t dare to open my eyes.

I want to always be like this

wrapped in your arms

your heart beating through your tee and feeling mine begin to synchronize

feeling safe

feeling okay

feeling infinite.